Hello, I am a 22 years old girl. I am belonging to a poor family with narrow, selfish minded parents. My father is a so toxic, self centered person he always wants a son. He is a gambler, egoistic, toxic, and selfish father. He always beat my mother and even me to the date. Because of this, I am suffering from depression, and I am now taking antidepressant pills (with the consultation of a psychiatrist). From my childhood, my father has always behaved toxic towards us.
He has so many affairs that he does not even take care of me, my mother, and my younger sister either, to take care of me and my sister for some love and care. My mother has an affair with my neighbor; he helps my mother financially, but when I turn 15, he tries to abuse me physically. This incident broke me into pieces after this behavior of my neighbor. I told everything to my mother, but she behaved like normal. After this all situations, I focus on study. I studied from a Semi Government school that hardly has 150 RS exam fees only for stationary.
My grandfather helped me, but my father did not give a single penny all through the situation. I get 2nd rank in my school in SSC (10th) with 94.40%. After this, my father lied and took money from relatives and his friend by saying I needed money for my daughter’s admission. My grandfather managed some money somehow for my 11th admission; my father did not give a single penny and lost all my grandfather’s given money also in gambling. Somehow, I and my grandfather managed, and I was taking admission in 11th science in the same school I passed 10th.
After securing a good percentage, it’s really hard for me to get admission because of my father’s behavior. I give a fellowship interview for an NGO, and I get selected, and the situation turns through my traumatizing childhood and current situation. I was diagnosed with depression in 11th grade, but in the fellowship I selected through an NGO, they helped me a lot to manage counselors for me, psychotic treatment medicine for me, give me tablets in Corona period, and fight with depression and my parents toxic behavior.
I manage to get admission in engineering. I get 3 scholarships in my engineering for my engineering and stationary fees. But I again face depression because of my parents toxic attitude and their greed towards my scholarship money. In this situation, my fellowship coordinator, Mam, suggested I leave the house and live separate from my parents as they were also tired of my parents counseling, but they failed because of their egoistic attitude.
My parents even talk harshly with them instead of being grateful they were helping his daughter in her studies. I live 6 months apart with my parents and family on PG near my college, but my parents show me they feel bad. as I leave them, they say sorry to me and request so many times, so I come home again, but they now again started behaving as in the past. Should I separate from them or adjust 1 year more till I get a good job, then leave them and start my fresh life?