We’ve known each other since 5th grade. Both of us were always very lenient and open minded about religion. We got together when we were in 12th grade, and even though it was a long distance relationship from day one, we were so in love. Then, in college, I found out he was cheating on me, involved in friends with benefits situations. I confronted him, and he admitted it, saying some really harsh things about me and our relationship that completely broke me. It shattered my self-respect, but I insisted on staying together.
However, he didn’t want to, and after a long struggle, I had to accept it, but I never moved on. I had panic attacks and constantly imagined him with that other girl, which left me breathless. No matter how happy I seemed on the outside, something always felt missing. After three years, he apologized and wanted to make things right. I wasn’t sure why, but I couldn’t resist being with him again. We started dating once more, and this time everything seemed perfect. He treated me like a princess. Even though my parents only knew him as a friend, he regularly talked to them, and I started imagining a future together.
But after three years, it started to feel like we were drifting apart. Our schedules never matched, we barely talked, and both of us were always busy with work. We tried talking about it, but nothing ever got resolved. Meanwhile, I was feeling depressed, lonely, and helpless. My health deteriorated, and I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder, even though there’s no family history. One day, I told him that I felt completely unloved and disconnected. He brushed it off, giving me justifications like, “We’ve known each other for so long, this is normal,” and dismissed my feelings.
I have a bad habit of isolating myself when I can’t handle things, and I did that again. I expected him to care about me, about my mental health. I asked him, but he never did. I thought maybe I was just in the wrong place, so I pulled back from everything, barely talking to anyone, including him, for almost a month. But I still believed that everything would be okay. We were happy when we were together, and we had plans to tell our parents and get married after a year, once my studies were finished.
Then, out of nowhere, he called and said his parents were pressuring him to get married, they didn’t approve of me, and he’d given up. He said there was no future for us and he wouldn’t find peace if he stayed with me. I cried, apologized, begged for a second chance, promising to do better. But he didn’t listen. He just abandoned me, expecting me not to bother him again. I don’t know what to do. I know isolating myself was a mistake, and he was probably lonely too. I really want a second chance! If he really loved me, how could he give up on me so easily?
Is it really because of his parents’ pressure, or is there something else? I don’t know what to do. I had planned my entire future with him, and now I feel lost.