We come from two different worlds different states, different cultures, different expectations. He’s a Brahmin, a strict vegetarian raised in a family rooted in tradition. I belong to the Yadav caste. I grew up with non-veg on my plate and dreams far beyond what’s considered “normal” or “safe” where I come from. We met through mutual friends and have been together for a while now. He’s never made me question his loyalty he doesn’t talk to other women, he’s transparent about his friendships, and in that, I feel secure. He loves me. I know that.
But love isn’t just about loyalty. It’s about support. It’s about meeting each other halfway. And that’s where I feel the gap. He asked me to give up non-veg even mushrooms. I agreed. Not because I wanted to, but because I understood it mattered deeply to him, culturally and spiritually. When he said I’d need to live with his parents if he gets a government teaching job near his hometown, I hesitated. But I agreed again. I’ve always wanted a home of my own with my partner something quiet, intimate, ours. Still, I let that vision go.
Now it’s about my career. I don’t want to be a teacher. He does, because of financial necessity. I respect that. But I want to pursue a corporate career. I want to crack CAT, get into an IIM, and build a life not just for myself but for my parents especially my father, who defied family expectations by putting us in English medium schools. He was mocked for it. I carry that legacy with me. I want to prove it was worth it. But when I shared my dreams, he said it’s tough, that not everyone makes it. That if I work somewhere far like Mumbai or Bangalore, it won’t work between us.
He wants me close, posted near his hometown. He says I can work only if it’s nearby. That doesn’t align with what I’m chasing. I’ve sacrificed a lot already. My food habits, my friendships even dreams of studying abroad or living independently. But I can’t keep letting go of pieces of myself just to fit into a version of life that isn’t mine. I offered alternatives: maybe I could work for a year or two and then leave, maybe start something like fruit farming later. He was okay with that because it didn’t involve me going far.
He keeps saying that money only matters if we’re side by side. But if being with him means I have to erase every part of my ambition, what version of me is he loving? I love him. That’s the hardest part. I love him so deeply. But I’m exhausted being the only one bending. I don’t want to be reshaped. I want to be held as I grow not confined while he stays rooted. I don’t know what the future holds. I just know that love shouldn’t feel like choosing between the life you want and the person you want to share it with.
Question: Should I wait for some more years and let him change?
Option 1: Yes
Option 2: No